Authors & Speakers Network Blog with Larry James

Monday, August 10, 2015

The Importance of the Pause When Speaking

One of the first lessons I learned as a professional speaker was to pause for effect. Learn to use your voice to create impact, suspense and credibility when speaking. Without the pause a speaker’s ideas and messages might even be lost as a result. It’s a signal to our audience that we are moving to a new point. I also use the pause when I move from one main point of my speech to another. It’s important to speak at a reasonable pace – not too fast for the audience to absorb our message, but at the same time, not too slowly as to bore our audience, and cause them to mentally go south.

Keep in mind the pause should be long enough to build suspense. Keep eye contact with your audience to signal that this pause is intentional. You can also use the pause to gain the attention of your audience, by pausing intentionally before you say something important. Comedians are masters of the pause. They often use the pause very effectively just before the deliver the punch line. If you’re using humor in your speech, the timing of your pause is everything.

A&S-PauseMany inexperienced speakers make the mistake of memorizing their speeches word-for-word and then reciting them as quickly as possible, without stopping even to take a breath. An experienced speaker knows to pause periodically to give the audience time to “catch up,” and to allow the meaning of what he or she is saying to sink in.

My friend, Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE, interviewed her friend and fellow speech coach, Ron Arden. He shared this helpful explanation of nine types of pauses and how and when to use them.

Powerful and persuasive presenters recognize the importance of the pause. Alan Alda says, “It is the stuff between the lines that makes it a great performance.”

Your message is not simply conveyed by your words, but also by your pauses. A pause isn’t a moment of “nothing.” Used strategically, it is a tool to help you build intellectual and emotional connection with your audience. When you pause, you give your audience time to process what you have just said. A pause allows your listeners to stay engaged and enables them to follow what comes next. If you tend to speak rapidly, it is even more important to allow adequate time for pauses.

Imagine where you would have a comma, period, paragraph, an exclamation point, an underline, or ellipses if your talk were written out. Use this as a guide for pauses.

1. Sense Pause

The sense pause is roughly where a comma would be in writing, but occurs about twice as frequently. This pause is more frequent than the comma because, in writing if your audience cannot understand something they can re-read it. Since this isn’t possible in speaking, you must allow time for your audience to understand. This is a way of grouping words in small “parcels” so they audience can keep up with what you are saying. This pause usually lasts one-half to one second.

2. Transition Pause

The transition pause is approximately where a period would be in writing. It separates one thought from another. Many speakers are unaware that they are speaking in run-on sentences. Audiences are not able to process rapid speech as well as we might think they can, especially if the content is unusual, emotional, poetic, dramatic, or new to the audience. This pause lasts between one and two seconds.

3. Dramatic Pause

A dramatic pause is a pause is used to set up and spotlight what you will say next. For example, “Do you know what happened?”… (pause)… (pause)… (pause)… This heightens tension in your narrative and gets the audience involved. You have to earn a dramatic pause, by following it with a statement that rewards your audience for following along with you. A dramatic pause can be anywhere from three – seven seconds.

4. Reflective Pause

A reflective pause gives your audience time to reflect. Complex or unusual statements need to be followed by time for reflection. This type of pause indicates to your audience, “I want you to think about that…” “I’ve left a space for you to think…” A reflective pause can last from three to seven seconds.

5. Pause for Effect

A pause for effect is shorter, usually one to two seconds. It creates the feeling that something is going to happen and lets words hang in the air so the audience can play with them in their minds.

These last four are advanced uses of the pause you can implement to add finesse to your public speaking.

6. Spontaneity Pause

This pause creates the feeling of spontaneity. This is a technique that conveys you are thinking about your words as you are speaking and not simply reciting something you have said many times before. This will keep you and your audience members interested, even if you are very familiar with what you are saying.

7. Pause to Relinquish Control

This is particularly useful in Q & A situations. When responding to a question, is easy to fall into the trap of rambling, repeating yourself, and weakening your response. Nail your response to the question and then pause to indicate your are finished speaking.

8. Sensory Pause

Use this to support a description that appeals to the senses. For example, “A beautiful warm afternoon… (pause) ….imagine it… (pause) …willows softly rustling in the breeze… (pause) …birds chirping in the trees… (pause) …sitting with a cool glass of lemonade in your hand… (pause). Create heightened feeling in your audience by pausing to allow their senses to take hold.

9. Pause for Emphasis

The enemy of the speaker is sameness. An audience will get bored if they feel like you are saying thing over and over again, even if you are not. Use pauses to delineate your key points. Keep your presentation dynamic so your audience does not get lulled to sleep. Use pauses to change gears.

Remember, a speech is not a monologue unless your audience is asleep or dead. A speech is a dialogue between your words and each audience member’s inner dialogue. Pauses allow your audience members to mentally interact with your words. A skilled speaker will often engage their audience more with their pauses than with their speaking.

Copyright 2015 by Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE. My complete interview with Ron Arden is available from my podcasts page: http://www.fripp.com/public-speaking-resources/podcasts/ For additional help with your presentation delivery read: “Sometimes It’s Better Not to Speak,” “Are You Speaking Too Quickly?,” and “Public Speaking – Delivery Strategy.” These are just a few of the many complimentary resources on Fripp.com

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A Cheat Sheet for Public Speaking

This infographic from LondonSpeakerBureau.com offers nine steps to a memorable speech, from preparation to delivery.

become-public-speaking-expert-infographic

Copyright © 2015 – LondonSpeakerBureau.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

When Speaking ~ Be Brief

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, Guest Author

Centuries ago great speakers often spoke two hours and more. But today when sound bytes on television news are the norm and serious problems are solved in an hour on a television drama, audiences are most interested in speakers that get their points across in a short period of time. In a speech delivered to a Women in Communication audience, Patricia Ward Brash said, “Television has helped create an impatient society, where audiences expect us to make our point simply and quickly.”

Today great speakers are noted for their brevity. Billy Graham, in a recent city-wide campaign in Cincinnati, spoke about 20 minutes each night. Theodore Sorensen in his book, “Kennedy,” gave guidelines by which President Kennedy prepared speeches. No speech was more than 20-30 minutes. He wasted no words and his delivery wasted no time. He rarely used words he considered hackneyed or word fillers.

A&SbeBriefAs Purdue communications professor and researcher Josh Boyd wrote, “In physics, power is defined as work divided by time. In other words, more work done in less time produces more power. In the same way, a speaker’s message is most powerful when he [or she] can deliver a lot of good material in a short amount of time.”

Here are guidelines to make brevity a key foundation in your next speech. First, keep your stories under two minutes in length. In preparing a story, continue to ask the question, “How can I say this in less time and in fewer words?” Script out your story and then seek to condense it. There is an adage in using humor: “The longer the story the funnier it had better be.” Connecting this principle to stories in general, we might say, “The longer the story, the more impact it had better have.”

To make sure your stories stay under two minutes, include only information that answers the questions, “Who?” “What?” “When?” “Where?” and “Why?” If it doesn’t answer one of these questions, leave it out. Make sure also that you have a sense of direction in the story. Each part of the story should move toward the conclusion in the mind of the listener. The listener should always feel you are going somewhere in developing your story.

Second, when possible, follow the proverb, “Less is better than more.” Never use three words when you can say it in two. Leave out clichés, filler words, and hackneyed words, such as “You know,” “OK,” and “All right.” Leave out phrases such as “Let me be honest,” or blunt, or frank. Avoid “In other words.” or “To say it another way.” Speak in short sentences, short phrases, and short words. Word choice should be instantly clear to an audience. Make it a goal to make every word have impact in your speech.

SBoyd

For more info, click the book cover!

Third, know the length of your speech by practicing it. Never be surprised by the length of your speech. Never say to an audience, “I’m running out of time, so I must hurry along.” You should know because of your preparation and practice of the speech. To go one step further, if you know the time limit on your speech is 20 minutes, stop a minute short; don’t go overtime. Audiences will appreciate your respect of their time and will think more highly of you as a speaker because of that. You should never be surprised by how long it takes you to deliver a speech

AnecdoteFourth, learn to divide parts of your speech into time segments. Let’s use a 20-minute speech as an example. The introduction should be no longer than 2 minutes. You can get the attention and preview your message easily in that length of time. Avoid opening with generalizations about the weather or the audience. Let the audience know up front that every word you speak counts.

Spend the bulk of your time in the body of the speech. This is where you make your points and give support or evidence for each point. The final two minutes should be your summary and move to action statement. Some speakers have a hard time concluding. When you say you are going to conclude, do so. As one wise person stated, “Don’t dawdle at the finish line of the speech.”

One way to keep your speech brief is to have few points in the body of your speech-no more than three. With a maximum of three points, you will have the self-discipline to condense rather than amplify. In organizing your material, accept the fact you will always have more material than you can cover and that you will only include material that relates to one of the two or three points you plan to make. Trying to cover four to six points will almost invariably make you go overtime in your speech.

A key to success in speaking is not just having something worthwhile to say, but also saying it briefly. We need to follow the speaking axiom, “Have a powerful, captivating opening and a strong, memorable close, and put the two of them as close together as possible.”

BONUS Articles: Ten Lessons on Presentation & Performance You Can Learn by Watching Taylor Swift
Speaking Secrets of Joel Osteen
Speakers: Stay on Time!

Copyright © 2015 – Stephen D. Boyd. – Reprinted with permission. Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is a professor of speech communication at Northern Kentucky University in Highland Heights, Kentucky. He is also a trainer in communication who presents more than 60 seminars and workshops a year to corporations and associations. See additional articles, resources and contact info at www.SBoyd.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Professional Tactics for Nailing the Perfect Speech

Filed under: Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

Success Magazine, Guest Author

You may have heard that more people fear public speaking than death. Fear not; follow these surefire tips and you’ll be remembered as a stunning orator long after the mic is turned off.

PerfectSpeech1. Cause for pause? Slow down when beginning your speech. People will tune out if they sense you’re in a rush. A well-timed pause can pique interest; use it wisely.

2. Don’t get bogged down by thousands of facts. Focus on the essence of your message and present supporting data in a clear, relevant manner.

3. Never wing it. But don’t overplan either. Know your message by heart and bring note cards to mentally guide you in a coherent way.

4. Don’t focus on the whole audience; focus on individual audience members. In a room of 300, there’s no way to connect with everyone. Key into a few people and present to them. You’ll feel more at ease and your delivery will be more conversational.

Copyright © 2014 – Success Magazine. – Reprinted with permission. Receive great ideas, tips and inspirational insight you can use. Get the Seeds of Success planted in your inbox, free, just by signing up.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Thursday, October 2, 2014

Speaking Secrets of Joel Osteen

Carmine Gallo, Guest Author

The following is an excerpt from an interview with Pastor Joel Osteen by Carmine Gallo. Joel Osteen is Pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, TX. To read the entire interview, click here.

Carmine: “Now take me backstage at Yankee Stadium this summer where 50,000 people turned out to hear you speak. As you’re walking up the steps to the field, what’s your internal dialogue?”

joel_osteenJoel: “It was night and day from my first sermon. I now have 15 years of experience. A year or two after I started preaching I began to hit my stride. I started to say, ‘Okay, maybe I was meant to do this.’ When I walk on stage today I feel humbled and rewarded that so many people came out. I tell myself that I’ll give it my best and hopefully move some people in a positive direction.”

Carmine: “Most people would have a severe panic attack in the moments before speaking to a sold-out stadium. But today your thought process is different. It’s an attitude of ‘I can’t wait to share this message.’”

Joel: “Exactly. You have to talk to yourself the right way and believe you are the person for the job. When you’re prepared in your material and in your mindset, that’s important. I walk up to the stage telling myself, ‘Everyone here wants to hear me. Nobody made them come.’ I’m talking to myself the right way. You cannot get on stage with self-defeating thoughts like ‘I’m boring, nobody wants to listen to me, I’m going to forget my script. ’ That’s preparing yourself to fail.”

Carmine: “This reinforces one of the chapters in your new book, You Can You Will, where you reveal the eight ‘undeniable qualities of a winner.’ You say that having a positive mindset is one of those undeniable qualities.”

Joel: “That’s exactly right. Some people are just raised negative. They don’t think they’re being negative, but they go through life almost expecting not to do well. They’ll show up for a job interview not expecting to get it. I think you have to turn it around. When you get up in front of people, believe that they want to hear you. Act like they like you.”

Carmine: “You include a lot of stories in each sermon and each sermon seems polished and effortless. I know ‘effortless’ takes work. Please tell me how you choose your stories and how many times you practice?”

Joel: “I like to bring in stories of practical, everyday people and examples that the audience can relate to. I think it can get boring to have too much information without a lot of examples and stories. I have a list of stories and I write down what people tell me. I choose the story that fits the message. Getting back to my pastor side, Jesus used examples, and parables, and stories because they are more impactful.”

Carmine: “Now tell me about how you practice and how your rehearsal gives you confidence to be in the moment.”

Joel: “I spend Thursday and Friday writing and going over my 28-minute message. I write it out word for word. I’ll take three hours on Friday and three hours on Saturday and review it page by page. I deliver it Saturday night and twice on Sunday. The one people see on television is my third delivery.

Carmine: “Ah, so by the last sermon, which is the one people see on TV and YouTube, you’ve had hours and hours of refining the stories, the pacing, the delivery. Most people don’t practice once!”

Joel: “When I first started I just made some notes and thought, I’ll just get up there and do it. I learned that, for me at least, if I haven’t rehearsed the sermon, it doesn’t come out the way I think it should.”

Carmine: “Finally, Joel, what’s the secret to inspiring people to make radical changes in their life?”

Joel: “Be real. Be personable. Make it simple so people don’t walk away asking, ‘What’s the point?’”

Joel’s last observation speaks to the heart of inspiration. It’s very hard to inspire others if you’re not true to who you are. Even Osteen tried to mimic someone else—his dad’s preaching style. Osteen only came into his own when he freed himself from what others thought he should be and stayed true to who he was meant to be. “My calling was to plant a seed of hope,” he said. I believe all of us have ideas that are meant to be shared; stories that are meant to be told.

Too many people keep their ideas locked up because they have a fear of public speaking or a fear of being harshly judged for their ideas. The fear of speaking – the fear of speaking up – is one of the most common fears most of us share. The good news is you can overcome it and, as Joel Osteen has proven, do it in a big, big way.

CarmineGalloCopyright © 2014 – Carmine Gallo. Carmine Gallo is the communication coach for the world’s most admired brands, a popular keynote speaker, and author of several bestselling books including the Wall Street Journal hits The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs and his latest Talk Like TED: The 9 Public Speaking Secrets Of The World’s Top Minds. This article originally appeared on Forbes.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Five Speaking Rules You Can Break

Joe Calloway, Guest Author

As with almost anything else you read about the speaking business, these ideas may or may not work for you. They work for me. As the old saying goes, “Sacred cows make the best burgers.” Here are, in my opinion, five rules of speaking that you can break:

5speakingrulesRule You Can Break Number 1: Memorize, rehearse, and make your speech perfect. ~ That’s one option. Or, you can be utterly in the moment with your audience. Not reciting a presentation “at” them, but being in the moment “with” them.

Of course, I quite naturally went the route of being very conversational and interactive with my audiences, since I can barely remember my own phone number, much less memorize a speech. In fact, on my website it clearly states that “Joe doesn’t do traditional ‘speeches.’”

I go off on tangents with the audience. I lose my place. I abandon 50% of my planned presentation if the CEO speaks before me and says something that inspires a totally different approach. Speakers who observe me are often horrified. So far, it’s working out okay.

Rule You Can Break Number 2: Develop multiple income streams. ~ Let me defer here to Peter Sheahan’s 2012 presentation at the NSA Convention. Peter pointed out that a blue tip flame has more power and effect than a flamethrower.

CallowayBook

Click Book for Info!

You don’t have to feel like a slacker because you aren’t doing webinars, downloadable training programs, interactive web-based assessments, etc. As Peter said, “You can just do keynotes.” Or training, or coaching, or consulting.

Pick a lane. You can have fun and make a fortune.

Rule You Can Break Number 3: Never do anything on social media that doesn’t drive revenue. ~ Sometimes a speaker will say to me, “Joe, I don’t understand your social media strategy. Why did you post the ‘Thunderstruck’ video by AC/DC?”

I get more positive comments from clients when I post a good AC/DC video, than I do when I try to sell them something. Personally, I don’t want to hang out with anybody whose only relationship with me is that they want into my wallet.

Rule You Can Break Number 4: My speech (book, video, etc.) is wonderful. I need to spend my time selling it. ~ When I do a presentation for 500 people, in my mind I am making 500 sales calls. They are watching me work and, if I am amazing as what I do, they are likely to hire me or have influence on someone who can hire me.

I don’t have time to waste trying to reach people who have never heard of me. I’m too busy working on my next presentation in an effort to get hired by people who will perceive irresistible value in what I do.

Rule You Can Break Number 5: Just work. Take any job because you’re better off speaking than not speaking. ~ Good grief. Really? I mean REALLY? My career didn’t begin to take off until I got clarity on the work I shouldn’t do. The more I said “no” to bad jobs, the more I attracted the kind of work I wanted and did best.

Disclaimer: All of the above is what works for me. It might not work for you. (Which is true whenever any speaker tells you anything about what you “have” to do.)

Joe-CallowayCopyright © 2014 – Joe Calloway. Reprinted with permission. Joe Calloway, CSP, CPAE, is a leading performance expert who helps great companies get even better. He helps organizations focus on what is truly important, inspires constant improvement, and motivates people to immediate action. Joe has been a business author, coach, and speaker for 30 years and his client list reads like an international Who’s Who in business, ranging from companies like Coca Cola and IBM to Cadillac and American Express. Joe is a popular speaker for business meetings and events, and although he has been inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame, he doesn’t do traditional “speeches.” Instead, Joe actively engages people in highly interactive keynote sessions that challenge people to take action on what matters most in their businesses. His newest book is, “Be The Best At What Matters Most: The Only Strategy You’ll Ever Need.” Visit Joe’s Website @ www.JoeCalloway.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Visit Larry James on LinkedIn

Joe Calloway – 615-429-7600
CSP, CPAE, business author, speaker, coach at Joe Calloway
Joe Calloway, CSP, CPAE, is the author of “Be The Best At What Matters Most.”

For information email Joe Calloway or Kris Young:
Kris: 612-803-9190
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Sunday, September 2, 2012

How to Heal Your Fear of Public Speaking

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld

decision-making-processSince I recently gave a talk in front of more than 100 people and I managed to HEAL this FEAR of public speaking that was paralyzing me and I am sure is paralyzing so many of us, I decided to share some of the things I did to help me heal this FEAR.

“There are three things to aim at in public speaking: first, to get into your subject, then to get your subject into yourself, and lastly, to get your subject into the heart of your audience.” ~ Alexander Gregg

1. START WITH THE END IN MIND – This is a really powerful rule I apply in everything I do and it makes a huge difference. It’s very important to see yourself at the end of your speech feeling the feelings that come from being in front of a big audience. See their expressions, the joy on their faces and see yourself as being super happy, super excited and very proud of your accomplishments. See in your mind’s eye the end result and focus on that until it becomes your reality… assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

“Make your future dream a present fact, by assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled.” ~ Neville

2. PUT YOUR EGO ON THE SIDE – If you care more about the audience and the message you want to deliver than you do about your own person chances are that you will find the strength to face your fear and to eventually heal it. Think of the VALUE you are offering and how it will impact THEIR lives. When what you say comes from the heart and it comes from a place of honesty, trust, love and passion, people will feel it and they will want to listen to what you have to say. Put your EGO on the side and focus on serving the audience in the best way possible.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” ~ Dale Carnegie

3. TAME YOUR MIND – When I saw the room where I was supposed to give the talk I panicked. I would imagine myself on stage looking all scared and without saying one single world I would start running away from stage. Now I can laugh when I think of this but at that time I was really, really, really, really scared!

“Worry clogs the brain and paralyzes the thought. A troubled brain can not think clearly, vigorously, locally.” ~ Orison Swett Marden

You will have all kind of crazy thoughts running through your mind and it’s your responsibility to tame your mind and to make sure that is constantly focusing on the things you want to achieve and nothing else. By doing so you will go from feeling scared to feeling empowered and grateful because you are given the opportunity to share your knowledge and wisdom with the world.

“We really have to remember that our senses and our thoughts LIE to us all the time. Just because you are having a thought doesn’t mean its true!” ~ Wayne Dyer

4. FIND A FRIEND – If you can find a close friend, a brother, mother, sister, a person whom you trust on helping you out while you give the presentation in front of them in advance it will be really helpful. They will give you pointers and help improve your body language, your tone of voice, the quality of the content and based on that the quality of your performance will be higher.

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” ~ Kenneth Blanchard

5. DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME – It’s so important to let go of all your expectations and to let go of your need to control the outcome. I know it might seem in contradiction with the first point – start with the end in mind, but it’s not. You want to gain courage, strength and confidence by seeing the end result in your mind’s eye since this will only help you focus and create a positive outcome, but at the same time you want to be relaxed and detached from how events will unfold. Just relax and enjoy the ride because in the end you will realize it was all about the journey and less about the destination.

“Detach yourself from the opinions of others… from the past; from the need to be right and to win; from an obsession with material things. Follow your passion in life, but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle the details.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

6. JUST DO IT, AND THEN DO IT AGAIN ~ NIKE – After all the preparation, all the emotions and all the scenarios you created in your mind before the actual event, it is now time to take the stage and show the world what you are made of. It’s okay if your fear is not 100% healed. Just know that every time you get on stage to share your great skills, knowledge and insights with the world you will heal your fear little by little. Just go out and do it over and over again and you will wake up one day and realize that what you once fear so badly is now something you have come to love deeply. The stage will become your best friend and the audience your family.

There are two basic motivating forces: FEAR and LOVE. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections.

“If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon

danaCopyright © 2012 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

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