Authors & Speakers Network Blog with Larry James

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Speaking in Public: Two Errors That Lead to Fear

Filed under: Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Seth Godin, Guest Author

1. You believe that you are being actively judged

2. You believe that the subject of the talk is you

When you stand up to give a speech, there’s a temptation to believe that the audience is actually interested in you.

SpeakingFEARThis just isn’t true. (Or if it is, it doesn’t benefit you to think that it is).

You are not being judged, the value of what you are bringing to the audience is being judged. The topic of the talk isn’t you, the topic of the talk is the audience, and specifically, how they can use your experience and knowledge to achieve their objectives.

When a professional singer sings a song of heartbreak, his heart is not breaking in that moment. His performance is for you, not for him. (The infinite self-reference loop here is that the professional singer finds what he needs when you find what you need.)

The members of the audience are interested in themselves. The audience wants to know what they can use, what they can learn, or at the very least, how they can be entertained.

If you dive into your (irrelevant to the listener) personal hurdles, if you try to justify what you’ve done, if you find yourself aswirl in a whirlpool of the resistance, all you’re providing is a little schadenfreude – pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune – as a form of entertainment.

On the other hand, if you realize that you have a chance to be generous in this moment, to teach and to lead, you can leave the self-doubt behind and speak a truth that the audience needs to hear. When you bring that to people who need it, your fear pales in comparison.

Media you choose to do is always about the audience. That’s why you’re doing it. The faster we get over ourselves, the sooner we can do a good job for those tuning in.

Copyright © 2013. Seth Godin. Seth Godin has written thirteen books that have been translated into more than thirty languages. Every one has been a bestseller. He writes about the post-industrial revolution, the way ideas spread, marketing, quitting, leadership and most of all, changing everything. Seth is the founder of The Domino Project. Check Seth’s Blog.

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Larry James is a Professional Speaker, Author and Coach. Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and offers Networking coaching; one-on-one or for your Networking Group! Invite Larry James to speak to your group! His latest book is, Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections! Something NEW about Networking is posted on this Networking BLOG every 4th day! Visit Larry’s Networking Website at: “Networking HQ!”

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

NOTE: All articles and networking tips listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Professional Tactics for Nailing the Perfect Speech

Filed under: Fear of Speaking,Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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From Seeds of SUCCESS eZINE, Guest Author

You may have heard that more people fear public speaking than death. Fear not; follow these surefire tips and you’ll be remembered as a stunning orator long after the mic is turned off.

fearfulSpeaker1. Cause for pause? Slow down when beginning your speech. People will tune out if they sense you’re in a rush. A well-timed pause can pique interest; use it wisely.

2. Don’t get bogged down by thousands of facts. Focus on the essence of your message and present supporting data in a clear, relevant manner.

3. Never wing it. But don’t overplan either. Know your message by heart and bring note cards to mentally guide you in a coherent way.

4. Don’t focus on the whole audience; focus on individual audience members. In a room of 300, there’s no way to connect with everyone. Key into a few people and present to them. You’ll feel more at ease and your delivery will be more conversational.

BONUS Articles: Overcoming Glossophobia!
How To Overcome Fear and Shyness ~ Video

Copyright © 2013 – Success Magazine. Reprinted with permission. Receive great ideas, tips and inspirational insight you can use. Get the Seeds of Success planted in your inbox, free, just by signing up.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com

Monday, September 9, 2013

Overcoming Glossophobia!

Do you suffer from glossophobia? As many as 75% of people have glossophobia.

What is it?

GlossophobiaIf you suffer from glossophobia you shy away from any opportunity to speak in public. Glossophobia or speech anxiety is the fear of public speaking or of speaking in general. The word glossophobia comes from the Greek glōssa, meaning tongue, and phobos, fear or dread. Symptoms include:

• intense anxiety prior to, or simply at the thought of having to verbally communicate with any group,
• avoidance of events which focus the group’s attention on individuals in attendance,
• physical distress, nausea, or feelings of panic in such circumstances.

The importance of learning to speak in front of an audience is undeniable – invariably intertwined with leadership, motivation, and change. Glossophobia can be overcome!

“Do the thing you fear to do the most and the death of fear is certain.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Glossophobia is common, and in some cases it can be life-limiting. However, the success rate for treatment is extremely high. The first step is to find a speaking coach or therapist that you trust who can help you work through the fear.

I highly recommend that you…

speaking1. Practice your talk by speaking out loud. Get used to hearing your own voice.
2. Record your talk on a tape recorder. Listen for mistakes, the “ahs” and “ums” you use to fill in the blanks. I recorded at least the first 50 talks I ever gave and listened to them over and over to fine-tune the spots that needed work.
3. Practice, drill and rehearse! You need to know your material inside out, especially the beginning and the end.

The goal may be only to stand up for 30 seconds at a networking meeting to introduce yourself. When someone asks you to speak, say, “Yes!” You may be asked to talk about your book or something you have earned the right to talk about. Say, “Yes!” and get busy practicing. I have found it useful to practice in front of a mirror.

If you are just beginning to accept opportunities to promote your book or services, the goal is not to become a professional speaker, but to do the very best you can.

No one can be an expert at everything! Remember that. Have no more than one or two 15 or 20 minute talks to start out with.

I made no less than several hundred free talks before I started requesting a fee to speak. I talked to civic groups, chamber of commerces, and many other small organizations before I began to charge for my keynotes (a prevailing tone or central theme, typically one set or introduced at the start of a conference) and seminars (usually a 2 or 3 hour conference or other meeting for discussion or training).

Authors and Potential Speakers: The vast majority of careers involve some level of public speaking, from participating in meetings to giving presentations to potential clients and promoting your books. Once you have successfully worked through the worst of your fear, you might want to consider joining a speaking group such as Toastmasters, Dale Carnegie’s Secrets to Effective Public Speaking, and the National Speakers Association (NSA). These groups can help you polish your public speaking skills through repetition and offering speaker tips from fellow members. Building confidence in your ability to speak in public can further reduce your anxiety.

Watch additional YouTube videos about glossophobia: Click here!

BONUS Articles: 5 Mistakes I Made in My First 5 Years as a Professional Speaker
How To Overcome Fear and Shyness ~ Video
Speakers: Stay on Time!
How to Structure a Great Presentation ~ Video
How To Tame Speaking Butterflies

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Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com

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