Authors & Speakers Network Blog with Larry James

Monday, November 27, 2017

Specificity Builds Your Credibility

Filed under: Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 10:30 am
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Patricia Fripp, Guest Author

In the speaking industry, I am known for a phrase: “Specificity builds credibility.” I learned it from one of my colleagues in Silicon Valley, David Palmer. Every day I listen to intelligent, experienced engineers, leaders, experts in every field, and they are sloppy speakers.

If you want to build your credibility, listen to what you say. Record casual conversations, your side of the phone call, and the way you lead meetings, and you will find how often intelligent people use the word stuff. Stuff is debris and rubbish. What do you mean?

In everyday conversation, of course, we do not prepare what we’re going to say, and it is more logical to be non-specific. However, the best and most important conversations and presentations are better if you review and build skills into your everyday language.

The question I ask my clients more than any other is, “Specifically, what do you mean by thing?” I recently listened to an expert. I am a big fan of his expertise on marketing, and for the first hour I listened to every comment he made and every time he said thing, which was about 25, I considered two suggestions of what he probably meant.

The next big offender is tons. You do not get tons of ideas; you get three pages of notes or 16 actionable items. After a networking event I hear people say, “Oh, I met tons of interesting people.” No, you didn’t. You met two dozen interesting people with whom you probably had seven meaningful conversations; two you will follow up for business conversations; and two you are looking forward to seeing socially.

Be specific. Specificity builds your credibility, and the more credibility you have in any position you hold, the more you will succeed.

BONUS Articles:Things We Say Wrong ~ Video+
The Importance of the Pause When Speaking

Patricia_Fripp.jpgCopyright 2017 by Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE. For additional help with your presentation delivery read: “Sometimes It’s Better Not to Speak,” “Are You Speaking Too Quickly?,” and “Public Speaking – Delivery Strategy.” These are just a few of the many complimentary resources on Fripp.com

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

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Monday, February 22, 2016

How to Connect With a Large Audience

Filed under: Guest Author Articles,Presentations,Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am

Ty Boyd, Guest Author

The bright lights, the large stage, and hundreds or even thousands of eyes all focused on you to hear what you have to say. On top of that, you have to make sure the people far in the back can hear you so no one loses interest and walks out. All of this is intimidating if you don’t know how to connect with a large audience, whether for a lecture, consultation, or presentation. What is so different between large and small audiences and how do you connect with a large audience?

ConnectLargeAudienceSome of the same techniques work well with both large and small audiences alike. You should still be the one in control, leading the discussion in front of the group. You should still be yourself, because both a large and small audience pick up on you trying to be someone you’re not. However, there are some key things you should be aware of before trying to connect with a large audience.

Scan the whole audience

If there is a large audience, you can’t just pick out one small section and speak to them. Speak to the entire group. Walk around, scan the crowd, and pick out a few sections across the back to gaze on periodically throughout your time on stage. If you focus predominately on one small sect of the group, you will lose the attention of the rest of the audience.

Fake it ‘til you make it

If you are one who struggles with confidence or just with getting in front of a large audience, try to fake confidence by smiling more often and cutting out filler words. Smiling keeps you from looking nervous (even if you’re shaking internally) and the audience responds to that. Cutting out filler words (uh, um, like, etc.) gives the audience more confidence you know what you’re saying and truly believe in the message. If the audience is comfortable with you being up there, you benefit from that and you will naturally “make it” to being the confident one in the lecture hall, presentation room, etc.

Do your research

If you are presenting or lecturing to a group of people with similar interests or work experiences, do your research on that area. Knowing where they are coming from gives you material to use to truly connect with a large audience of people. If you’re talking to a bunch of engineers but don’t know the first thing about physics, there are plenty of resources out there that can help you find some jokes that engineers might find funny. People want to laugh, and if your audience laughs, they will be at ease which will also calm you down.

Don’t rely on subtleties

Subtle messages and gestures are great for small groups but they are lost on large groups. Get rid of that when presenting to a large group and be overly emphatic with your gestures and messages. Larger groups rely on you to pump up the energy in the room, so go big or go home.

Sell with a story

A good way to start is to tell a story the audience can relate to and tie into the message of your presentation or lecture. This is where doing your research, being confident, energetic, and scanning the whole audience comes into play. If you can tie all of the above into a good attention grabber at the start, you are sure to connect with the audience coming out of the gate. Once there, continue to tie in overall concepts, points, or messages back to the story. If done right, all of the points can and will relate to the story so each time one of those points are made the audience as a whole has an “ah-ha!” moment.

Those are just a few of the numerous ways to connect with a large audience. If the above are done right, however, you will have no problem connecting with your audience, keeping them engaged, and getting the message across to everyone in the large lecture hall – all without breaking a sweat yourself!

Copyright 2016 by Ty Boyd, Inc.  –  Ty Boyd, Inc. is an Executive Communications & Coaching business that has helped professionals worldwide reach their career goals for more than thirty years.  Their faculty is comprised of experts in the fields of public speaking, business communications and individual coaching.

They offer a variety of courses suited to meet the needs of all levels of career professionals. Ty Boyd, Inc. also creates custom courses for corporations, designed to align with each company’s business culture and objectives. You can expect immediate returns when you and your company invest in a Ty Boyd, Inc. course or coaching session. Take the lead with Ty Boyd, Inc.

Contact them to learn more about how they can help you, your employees or company. info@tyboyd.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Presentation Prep

Larry Mandelberg, Guest Author

The one factor I’ve found to have the greatest impact on the quality of my presentation is how prepared I am. I have a routine:

A&S-SpeakerPrepDocument the desired result or outcome for the presentation, whether it’s my own self-produced event or for a client.
Understand the demographics of the target audience, identify their “tribal lingo” as it relates to my topic and adjust my presentation accordingly; this includes any examples or case studies.

Document all assumptions (I have a master list I work from, much like experienced travelers use when packing for a long trip) and review with the event organizer, e.g., podium, technology, audio, food, timing, handouts, logistics, seeing the meeting space.

Get familiar with the environment I’m going to be working in. Sometimes that means traveling for hours to get to a site and finding a comfortable place in the room, sometimes it involves asking for changes by the event organizer — lights, lectern, a clock I can see, microphones, aisles that allow me to walk around in the audience, etc.

Most Critical Step ~ Practice. Then practice some more. Then more. Go through three dry runs out loud from beginning to end in the actual environment (if possible, if not find some place close, even if you have to use a room in your house), and time yourself.

Buy a Wall Street Journal on the day of the event, find an article related to your topic — there will ALWAYS be one — and use it as a prop during your presentation.

BONUS Articles: The Importance of the Pause When Speaking
A Cheat Sheet for Public Speaking
33 Public Speaking Tips to Keep Your Audience from Falling Asleep
How to Give a Great Speech ~ Part One

LarryMandelberg Copyright 2015 by Larry Mandelberg. Larry Mandelberg puts business leaders in control of their organization’s future. A successful entrepreneur and business coach, Larry leverages the Eight Driving Forces behind a company’s focus, performance and morale into a foundation for successful, profitable growth. Mandelberg’s simple, yet powerful index points directly to where the highest return and greatest benefits can be achieved in your organization. Visit Larry’s Website!

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Authors & Speakers Network Blog

Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Friday, September 11, 2015

Here’s the Trick to Removing ‘Like’ and ‘Um’ From Your Vocabulary

Filed under: Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Lisa B. Marshall, Guest Author

Recently I attended a training course in New York City and at the start of the course each of us introduced ourselves.

The senior executive sitting next to me said, and I quote, “I, like, work for a big bank, like, Citibank. I work, um, in technology, and head-up a group of like, 500 people, right. I do, like, technology risk assessment, right, and create, um, processes, to, like, reduce risk, right.”

A&S-VocabularyI was shocked.

“Like,” “Um,” and “Ah” are credibility killers ~ He was a business professional, a senior director at a major organization, and yet he sounded more like a valley girl. His speech was so infected with “like,” “right,” and “um” that the message was muddled and he significantly diminished his credibility.

These “credibility killers” – fluency disruptions – communicate doubt, especially at the end of a phrase. When he was talking, I found myself thinking, “Doesn’t he know how exactly many people work for him? Does he work for Citibank, or does he really work somewhere else?”

What are disfluencies? ~ Disfluencies, in general, weaken messages. They’re distracting for your listeners and they make you sound bad.

In the first 30 seconds I counted four “likes” and three “rights” and two “ums.” Worse, I’m certain that Tom had no idea that his speech was infected with these verbal viruses. In his defense, credibility killers (e.g. like, so, you know, right, uh, ah) are actually really common in everyday conversation. Researchers say that about 20% of “words” in everyday conversation are disfluencies.

In fact, people around the world fill pauses in their own way. In Britain they say “uh,” Hebrew speakers say “ehhh,” the Turks say “mmmmm.” The Japanese say “eto” (eh-to) and “ano” (ah-no), Spanish speakers “esto,” and Mandarin speakers “neige” (NEH-guh) and “jiege” (JEH-guh). In Dutch and German it’s “uh, um, mmm.” In Swedish it’s “eh, ah, aah, m, mm, hmm, ooh, a and oh” (man, this is starting to sound x-rated podcast, I’d better stop, I think you have the idea!)

As a communication coach, I notice disfluencies the most when people are nervous; for some people it’s the only time these little buggers show up.

So today’s article is about what can you do to boost your immunity to these viruses. Its about how you can reduce disfluencies. Notice I didn’t say get rid of them all together. Reduction, versus complete elimination, should be your goal.

The first and most important step towards more fluent speaking is to become aware of your distracting speech habits.The fastest way to find out if you have trouble in this area is to ask a close trusted friend (or public speaking coach, hint, hint).

stop-saying-umAnyway, perhaps the BEST way is to record yourself. If you are comfortable with technology I suggest using free audio editing software (Garageband on mac and Audacity for PC). With this software you actually see your words in audio format. For a more simplistic solution try Utterz.com — you can just call a phone number and it will record your voice.

Once you’ve got some sample recordings, the next step is play back your recordings several times. Listen specifically for your disfluences — go ahead and make of game of it. First just list them and then start counting them. If you are counting past three or four, you’ll know you have a problem.

Focus on listening to yourself talk ~ If recording seems like too much effort, just focus, for one full week, on listening, really listening carefully for distracters when you talk. Some experts like to suggest you put tiny “um” and “ah” stickers on your computer or cell phone to remind you to be listening.

Trust me, after a week of listening, or recording and listening, you’ll have become acutely aware of your specific problems. And that’s exactly what you need; awareness. You need to be able to hear your disfluencies in your mind before you blurt them out.

How to reduce your credibility killers ~ If you’ve done your homework you’ll know when one of your credibility killers is just about to escape from your mouth. Then, all you’ll need to do is to keep quiet. I know, easier said than done. At first you’ll have awkward pauses in your speech, but that’s still better, actually far better, than speech peppered with “likes” and “ums.” Eventually the pauses get shorter. With time, you’ll be more fluent and have fewer “ums” and “ahs.”

So the next time you introduce yourself, be warned, somebody sitting next to you might just be counting your “ums”, “ahs,” and “you knows”. Don’t let your disfluencies kill your credibility. It really is worth it to take some time to focus on this. It can make a big difference in how you’re perceived.

Copyright 2015 by Lisa B. Marshall. For information about keynote speeches or workshops visit www.LindaBMarshall.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Monday, August 10, 2015

The Importance of the Pause When Speaking

One of the first lessons I learned as a professional speaker was to pause for effect. Learn to use your voice to create impact, suspense and credibility when speaking. Without the pause a speaker’s ideas and messages might even be lost as a result. It’s a signal to our audience that we are moving to a new point. I also use the pause when I move from one main point of my speech to another. It’s important to speak at a reasonable pace – not too fast for the audience to absorb our message, but at the same time, not too slowly as to bore our audience, and cause them to mentally go south.

Keep in mind the pause should be long enough to build suspense. Keep eye contact with your audience to signal that this pause is intentional. You can also use the pause to gain the attention of your audience, by pausing intentionally before you say something important. Comedians are masters of the pause. They often use the pause very effectively just before the deliver the punch line. If you’re using humor in your speech, the timing of your pause is everything.

A&S-PauseMany inexperienced speakers make the mistake of memorizing their speeches word-for-word and then reciting them as quickly as possible, without stopping even to take a breath. An experienced speaker knows to pause periodically to give the audience time to “catch up,” and to allow the meaning of what he or she is saying to sink in.

My friend, Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE, interviewed her friend and fellow speech coach, Ron Arden. He shared this helpful explanation of nine types of pauses and how and when to use them.

Powerful and persuasive presenters recognize the importance of the pause. Alan Alda says, “It is the stuff between the lines that makes it a great performance.”

Your message is not simply conveyed by your words, but also by your pauses. A pause isn’t a moment of “nothing.” Used strategically, it is a tool to help you build intellectual and emotional connection with your audience. When you pause, you give your audience time to process what you have just said. A pause allows your listeners to stay engaged and enables them to follow what comes next. If you tend to speak rapidly, it is even more important to allow adequate time for pauses.

Imagine where you would have a comma, period, paragraph, an exclamation point, an underline, or ellipses if your talk were written out. Use this as a guide for pauses.

1. Sense Pause

The sense pause is roughly where a comma would be in writing, but occurs about twice as frequently. This pause is more frequent than the comma because, in writing if your audience cannot understand something they can re-read it. Since this isn’t possible in speaking, you must allow time for your audience to understand. This is a way of grouping words in small “parcels” so they audience can keep up with what you are saying. This pause usually lasts one-half to one second.

2. Transition Pause

The transition pause is approximately where a period would be in writing. It separates one thought from another. Many speakers are unaware that they are speaking in run-on sentences. Audiences are not able to process rapid speech as well as we might think they can, especially if the content is unusual, emotional, poetic, dramatic, or new to the audience. This pause lasts between one and two seconds.

3. Dramatic Pause

A dramatic pause is a pause is used to set up and spotlight what you will say next. For example, “Do you know what happened?”… (pause)… (pause)… (pause)… This heightens tension in your narrative and gets the audience involved. You have to earn a dramatic pause, by following it with a statement that rewards your audience for following along with you. A dramatic pause can be anywhere from three – seven seconds.

4. Reflective Pause

A reflective pause gives your audience time to reflect. Complex or unusual statements need to be followed by time for reflection. This type of pause indicates to your audience, “I want you to think about that…” “I’ve left a space for you to think…” A reflective pause can last from three to seven seconds.

5. Pause for Effect

A pause for effect is shorter, usually one to two seconds. It creates the feeling that something is going to happen and lets words hang in the air so the audience can play with them in their minds.

These last four are advanced uses of the pause you can implement to add finesse to your public speaking.

6. Spontaneity Pause

This pause creates the feeling of spontaneity. This is a technique that conveys you are thinking about your words as you are speaking and not simply reciting something you have said many times before. This will keep you and your audience members interested, even if you are very familiar with what you are saying.

7. Pause to Relinquish Control

This is particularly useful in Q & A situations. When responding to a question, is easy to fall into the trap of rambling, repeating yourself, and weakening your response. Nail your response to the question and then pause to indicate your are finished speaking.

8. Sensory Pause

Use this to support a description that appeals to the senses. For example, “A beautiful warm afternoon… (pause) ….imagine it… (pause) …willows softly rustling in the breeze… (pause) …birds chirping in the trees… (pause) …sitting with a cool glass of lemonade in your hand… (pause). Create heightened feeling in your audience by pausing to allow their senses to take hold.

9. Pause for Emphasis

The enemy of the speaker is sameness. An audience will get bored if they feel like you are saying thing over and over again, even if you are not. Use pauses to delineate your key points. Keep your presentation dynamic so your audience does not get lulled to sleep. Use pauses to change gears.

Remember, a speech is not a monologue unless your audience is asleep or dead. A speech is a dialogue between your words and each audience member’s inner dialogue. Pauses allow your audience members to mentally interact with your words. A skilled speaker will often engage their audience more with their pauses than with their speaking.

Copyright 2015 by Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE. My complete interview with Ron Arden is available from my podcasts page: http://www.fripp.com/public-speaking-resources/podcasts/ For additional help with your presentation delivery read: “Sometimes It’s Better Not to Speak,” “Are You Speaking Too Quickly?,” and “Public Speaking – Delivery Strategy.” These are just a few of the many complimentary resources on Fripp.com

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A Cheat Sheet for Public Speaking

This infographic from LondonSpeakerBureau.com offers nine steps to a memorable speech, from preparation to delivery.

become-public-speaking-expert-infographic

Copyright © 2015 – LondonSpeakerBureau.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Sunday, June 7, 2015

33 Public Speaking Tips to Keep Your Audience from Falling Asleep

Filed under: Speaker Tips,Video — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , , ,

Pat Flynn, Guest Author

I’ve learned a lot of these tips by reading and watching as much as I could about the craft of public speaking, watching countless hours of TED talks and similar high-quality presentations and of course, being on stage dozens of times myself.

Each time I go onto the stage for a new event, I always try to focus on one new thing that I’m going to practice and incorporate into my presentation. Obviously, you always want to do your best, but when you bring one new thing to improve each time it’ll help your speaking game tremendously and it’ll stop you from being overwhelmed with the process and trying out too many new things at once.

The video is 38 minutes and 50 seconds, so if you don’t have time now, bookmark this page and be sure to watch it later.

Copyright © 2015 – Pat Flynn.

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Authors & Speakers Network Blog

Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Thursday, May 14, 2015

How to Give a Great Speech ~ Part Two

NOTE: You may want to read “How to Give a Great Speech” Part One before you read Part Two.

Earl Nightingale, Guest Author

Don’t be a comedian

Humor isn’t something that can be forced, nor should it be reached for. It’s something that comes naturally to those with the ability, or at least it seems to. If you have it, congratulations. Use it wisely. If you don’t have it, use it sparingly and make certain it’s really funny before you use it at all. Don’t try to dabble in one of the most difficult professions in the world — that of a stand-up comedian.

A&SGreatSpeech2Before you include a joke in your speech, ask yourself this: Why am I telling it? Jokes aren’t necessary to the opening of a speech. Neither are funny comments, unless they have a clever tie-in of some sort that the audience will genuinely appreciate and enjoy.

I’ve heard so many tedious speakers say, following the introduction, “That reminds me of a story …” and then proceed to tell a story that hasn’t the faintest resemblance to anything said in the introduction at all. It didn’t remind him. He just wanted to tell a joke, and everybody in the audience knows it and begins to move their feet and cough and look around for the exit.

Here’s a good rule to follow that I’ve found works. If there is any doubt in your mind whatever, if there is the faintest feeling of uneasiness about a story, never tell it. That feeling of uneasiness is your more intelligent subconscious trying to tell you to forget it. Save if for the locker room at the club if you must tell it.

If you want a foolproof system, use the enormously successful Jack Benny system: Make yourself the joke. Benny has produced the most prolonged, helpless laughter in the history of show business. It happened on his old radio program when he was approached by a robber who said, “Your money or your life.” What followed was simply silence, the deadly, convulsively funny silence that only Jack Benny could manage. The silence lasted only a few seconds when the laughter began, then mounted and mounted and continued for a record-breaking period of time, I think something like 15 minutes. Finally, when it did subside, the robber repeated, “I said your money or your life.” And Jack Benny replied, “I’m thinking. I’m thinking.”

Again the laughter took hold and the program nearly ran out of time before it could even attempt to finish. A simple silence did it as Jack tried desperately to decide which was more important to him, his money or his life. He was always the loser in his elaborate plans, as is the coyote in his attempts to trap the road runner. People love us when we’re foiled by our own weaknesses.

If humor is your forte, then you don’t need any advice or help from me. If it isn’t, use it sparingly and in good taste. It’s wonderful when it’s right. It’s so awful when it isn’t.

Speak with style

I was a speaker at a hospital benefit, and as I waited in the wings of a large theater where the benefit was being staged, I noticed that one of the officials for the evening was on stage in front of the lectern reading the names of the various high school graduates from the community who had won scholarships in nursing. He never looked up at the audience. He spoke in such low monotones that he was difficult to hear, even with an excellent audio system, and his performance was as lackluster as any I’ve ever seen. When he was through, he walked back to where I was standing in the wings. As he disappeared from view to the audience, his face broke with a beautiful broad smile, and he said in a strong voice, “Man, am I glad that’s over.” I stopped him and I said, “You should have flashed that wonderful smile to the audience and used your normal voice. It’s excellent.” “Oh, that,” he shuddered. “I’m scared to death out there.”

Now, the audience got a picture of a very lackluster man with no personality and no style whatsoever, a total cipher. Yet, here was a good-looking man with a beautiful smile, an excellent style of his own that his friends and acquaintances no doubt greatly admired. I wanted to go on stage and say to that great audience. “I wish you could see so-andso as he really is. He’s quite a guy.”

Everyone has his or her own special style. It seems to come with the genes and the upbringing and the education, all of thousands of experiences that coalesce to form a person’s own unique style.

You have only to study prominent people on television to quickly see that each of them has a style all his or her own that he or she is completely unconscious of. Just as we should never doubt our hunches or our own unique powers, we should never doubt that we have a natural style. If, and it’s a big if — if we can be natural.

The key is to lose ourselves in our material. In an ideal speech, we are conscious of putting on a performance, but at the same time we’re so interested in what we’re talking about and we know our subject so thoroughly, we can immerse ourselves in it.

I was chatting with a salesman on an airplane one time. It turned out we were both going to the same convention. I had to speak. He had to receive his company’s highest honor as national sales leader. As our conversation grew more animated, I asked him the secret of being number one in sales with his company. And he gave me the most interesting answer. He said, “I was in this business for several years, and I tried hard and I worked hard, but I was a long way from the top. Then one day, a wonderful thing happened. All of a sudden, things were turned around. Instead of my being in this business, the business got into me.”

He looked at me and his eyes were shining, and he asked, “Do you know what I mean?” I told him I knew exactly what he meant and he could number himself among the most fortunate human beings on earth, the people who actually enjoy what they’re doing, the real stars. It reminded me of John Stuart Mill’s theory of happiness in his book Utilitarianism. He said that only those people who do not seek happiness directly are happy. People who spend their time helping others and are engaged in some art or pursuit — followed not by a means, but as itself an ideal end — find happiness along the way. The important part is that those who are the happiest are engaged in a daily pursuit, followed not just as a means, but as itself an ideal end. And it’s the same in making a fine speech.

BONUS Article: The Communicator’s Job – Can You Improve Your Speaking and Writing?

Copyright © 2015 – Earl Nightingale. Earl Nightingale was the author of Lead the Field. To read more articles by Earl Nightingale, “Life of the Unsuccessful” (Mar/Apr 2006), “The Cure for Procrastination” (Sep/Oct 2005), and “The Strangest Secret” (Nov/Dec 2004), visit www.AdvantEdgeMag.com/Nightingale today.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

How to Give a Great Speech ~ Part One

Earl Nightingale, Guest Author

There are two kinds of public speakers: There are those who are asked to talk to a group and those who, because of their position, are forced to talk before groups — people such as ministers, teachers, executives, and sales managers.

In the first instance ”that is, if you’re asked to make a speech” it means you know something others want to hear. It usually means you’re an expert on some subject, and so people come to hear you because they want to. If your job demands that you talk before groups, you have an even greater responsibility because your audience must listen to you whether they like it or not.

A&SGreatSpeech1But in either case, you can make a good speech with a little preparation. Here are some guidelines.

A good speech is like good conversation

A good conversationalist will make a good speaker. He’s sensitive to the presence of others. His antennae are forever alert, picking up signals from his audience and involving them in his talk.

Good conversation is one of the great joys of human commerce. Good conversation should be like the game of tennis, in which the ball is struck back and forth, with each player participating equally. Bores are like golfers who just keep hitting their own ball, over and over and over again.

A good speaker is able to achieve a marvelous give-and-take with her audience, just as a good conversationalist does with the person she’s with. She recognizes that people in our society desire recognition more than any other factor.

She will ask her audience questions such as, “Do you agree with that?” Then she’ll pause and read their response — by their silence, their attention, their nods, their poking of the person sitting next to them, by their laughter, or by their seriousness at the right places.

If they’re bored, they’ll find ways of showing it, despite their best efforts. If they’re interested, they’ll show that too. And we have a duty to be interesting or we shouldn’t get up there in the first place. That is the task of the speaker, whether we’re the manager of the sales force, in a car dealership, an insurance agency, real estate office, or a large international organization. When interest leaves, the sell goes out of our message.

Our responsibility is not only to create a speech that will lead an audience to a believable conclusion; we must also make the very building blocks of that conclusion as fascinating as we can. It is in this way that we can hold the attention of our audience until we get to that all-important final point. In addition, if we can develop techniques that make our audience feel that we are conversing with them, we will convey that we care what they are thinking — and that will create the emotional climate for them to accept us as favorably as possible.

The single-theme formula

Professional salespeople, marketing experts, and leaders in the advertising profession know the importance of selling one thing at a time. Only catalogs can successfully handle a multitude of items. In a five-minute speech or even a long speech, it’s important to have a single theme, and, like a good salesperson, you pose the problem and then give your solution. At the end, the problem is restated and the solution quickly summarized.

Your opening statement should be an attention getter. For example, you might say, “Scientists all over the world are agreed that the world’s oceans are dying.” A sobering thought indeed. It captures immediate interest, and everyone is thinking, “Why, that would presage the end of the world. What are we doing about it?”

Using an internationally recognized authority as your reference, someone such as Jacques Cousteau, you provide the supporting evidence that your opening remark is indeed true, and then you proceed to outline the possible ways that the disaster might be averted. At the end, you might say, “Yes, the oceans of the world are dying today, but if we can marshal the combined efforts of the world’s peoples, if we can influence every maritime country to pass laws governing the pollution of the seas by oil tankers …” So you end on a note of hope and at the same time enlist the sympathy of every one of your listeners in your cause.

Not all talks are about social problems, of course. You might be talking about a recent fishing trip, in which case, you find something of special interest in the story and open with that. You might say “Ounce for ounce, the rainbow trout is one of the gamest fish on earth.” It’s a much better attention getter and interest stimulator than saying, “I want to tell you about my recent fishing trip.” A few words about the fish you were after, and then you can work in the rest. “Two weeks ago, John Cooper and I decided to try our luck on the White River near Carter, Arkansas. It’s one of the most naturally beautiful spots in the country” and so on. Stay with the trip and that rainbow trout, the hero of your story, and how good it tasted cooked over an open fire on the bank of the river. Then at the close, to more closely link your listeners to the subject, you might say, “If you’ve never been trout fishing, let me recommend it as one of the world’s best ways to forget your problems, clear your brain, and gain a new perspective. And when you hook a rainbow trout, you’re in for one of the greatest thrills of a lifetime.”

Watch your personal pronouns. Keep yourself out of your conversation as much as possible. As with the case of the fishing story, talk about the fish, the beautiful scenery, and your companions, other people you met, a humorous incident or two perhaps, but don’t keep saying, ” I did this” and “I did that.” The purpose of the speech is not to talk about you but rather the subject matter. There’s an old saying that small minds talk about things, average minds talk about people, and great minds talk about ideas. What you’re selling is almost always an idea, even if it’s painting the house. The idea is the good appearance or the protection of the house. The fishing trip story is about the idea of getting away and going after exciting game fish. One idea, well developed, is the key.

Just as a beautiful painting is put together by a thousand brush strokes, each stroke makes a contribution to the main theme, the overall picture. And it’s the same with a good speech.

Read “How to Give a Great Speech” Part Two @ How to Give a Great Speech ~ Part Two!

Copyright © 2015 – Earl Nightingale. Earl Nightingale was the author of Lead the Field. To read more articles by Earl Nightingale, “Life of the Unsuccessful” (Mar/Apr 2006), “The Cure for Procrastination” (Sep/Oct 2005), and “The Strangest Secret” (Nov/Dec 2004), visit www.AdvantEdgeMag.com/Nightingale today.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

When Speaking ~ Be Brief

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, Guest Author

Centuries ago great speakers often spoke two hours and more. But today when sound bytes on television news are the norm and serious problems are solved in an hour on a television drama, audiences are most interested in speakers that get their points across in a short period of time. In a speech delivered to a Women in Communication audience, Patricia Ward Brash said, “Television has helped create an impatient society, where audiences expect us to make our point simply and quickly.”

Today great speakers are noted for their brevity. Billy Graham, in a recent city-wide campaign in Cincinnati, spoke about 20 minutes each night. Theodore Sorensen in his book, “Kennedy,” gave guidelines by which President Kennedy prepared speeches. No speech was more than 20-30 minutes. He wasted no words and his delivery wasted no time. He rarely used words he considered hackneyed or word fillers.

A&SbeBriefAs Purdue communications professor and researcher Josh Boyd wrote, “In physics, power is defined as work divided by time. In other words, more work done in less time produces more power. In the same way, a speaker’s message is most powerful when he [or she] can deliver a lot of good material in a short amount of time.”

Here are guidelines to make brevity a key foundation in your next speech. First, keep your stories under two minutes in length. In preparing a story, continue to ask the question, “How can I say this in less time and in fewer words?” Script out your story and then seek to condense it. There is an adage in using humor: “The longer the story the funnier it had better be.” Connecting this principle to stories in general, we might say, “The longer the story, the more impact it had better have.”

To make sure your stories stay under two minutes, include only information that answers the questions, “Who?” “What?” “When?” “Where?” and “Why?” If it doesn’t answer one of these questions, leave it out. Make sure also that you have a sense of direction in the story. Each part of the story should move toward the conclusion in the mind of the listener. The listener should always feel you are going somewhere in developing your story.

Second, when possible, follow the proverb, “Less is better than more.” Never use three words when you can say it in two. Leave out clichés, filler words, and hackneyed words, such as “You know,” “OK,” and “All right.” Leave out phrases such as “Let me be honest,” or blunt, or frank. Avoid “In other words.” or “To say it another way.” Speak in short sentences, short phrases, and short words. Word choice should be instantly clear to an audience. Make it a goal to make every word have impact in your speech.

SBoyd

For more info, click the book cover!

Third, know the length of your speech by practicing it. Never be surprised by the length of your speech. Never say to an audience, “I’m running out of time, so I must hurry along.” You should know because of your preparation and practice of the speech. To go one step further, if you know the time limit on your speech is 20 minutes, stop a minute short; don’t go overtime. Audiences will appreciate your respect of their time and will think more highly of you as a speaker because of that. You should never be surprised by how long it takes you to deliver a speech

AnecdoteFourth, learn to divide parts of your speech into time segments. Let’s use a 20-minute speech as an example. The introduction should be no longer than 2 minutes. You can get the attention and preview your message easily in that length of time. Avoid opening with generalizations about the weather or the audience. Let the audience know up front that every word you speak counts.

Spend the bulk of your time in the body of the speech. This is where you make your points and give support or evidence for each point. The final two minutes should be your summary and move to action statement. Some speakers have a hard time concluding. When you say you are going to conclude, do so. As one wise person stated, “Don’t dawdle at the finish line of the speech.”

One way to keep your speech brief is to have few points in the body of your speech-no more than three. With a maximum of three points, you will have the self-discipline to condense rather than amplify. In organizing your material, accept the fact you will always have more material than you can cover and that you will only include material that relates to one of the two or three points you plan to make. Trying to cover four to six points will almost invariably make you go overtime in your speech.

A key to success in speaking is not just having something worthwhile to say, but also saying it briefly. We need to follow the speaking axiom, “Have a powerful, captivating opening and a strong, memorable close, and put the two of them as close together as possible.”

BONUS Articles: Ten Lessons on Presentation & Performance You Can Learn by Watching Taylor Swift
Speaking Secrets of Joel Osteen
Speakers: Stay on Time!

Copyright © 2015 – Stephen D. Boyd. – Reprinted with permission. Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is a professor of speech communication at Northern Kentucky University in Highland Heights, Kentucky. He is also a trainer in communication who presents more than 60 seminars and workshops a year to corporations and associations. See additional articles, resources and contact info at www.SBoyd.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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