Authors & Speakers Network Blog with Larry James

Friday, May 18, 2018

Tips for Reading the Room Before a Meeting or Presentation

Rebecca Knight, Guest Author

In every conversation at work, there’s the explicit discussion happening — the words being spoken out loud — and the tacit one. To be successful in most organizations, it’s important to understand the underlying conversations and reactions that people in the room are having. But if you aren’t picking up on those subtle cues, how can you learn to do so? What signals should you be looking for? And what can you do to influence the unspoken dynamics?

What the Experts Say ~ “Knowing how to read between the lines is a critical workplace skill,” says Annie McKee, a senior fellow at the University of Pennsylvania, and the author of How to Be Happy at Work. “You need to understand other people — what they want, what they don’t want, their fears, hopes, dreams, and motivations,” she says. “This builds trust. And trust is fundamental to getting things done.”

In addition, you must be aware of your effect on others, according to Karen Dillon, coauthor of How Will You Measure Your Life? “You need to be constantly assessing how other people are responding to you,” she says. “Some people find this easy and intuitive. For others, it’s a challenge.” The good news is that this skill can be learned. Here are some ways how.

Observe ~ The best way to read a room is to pay close attention to people — and not just what they’re saying. “If you’re relying [solely] on their words, you’re only getting half the picture,” McKee says. Upon entering a meeting, she recommends, do “a quick scan of the individuals,” noting “who’s next to whom, who’s smiling, who’s not, who’s standing, who’s sitting, and how much space is between people.” Next, try to pick up on “the almost invisible clues on how people are feeling” by looking carefully at “their facial expressions, posture, and body language.”

Be on the lookout for “quick microexpressions” such as “fleeting smiles, raised eyebrows, or even tiny frowns.” Vigilant observation will give you the information you need to interpret group dynamics. Dillon recommends identifying role models to further improve your social awareness. “Think of people you admire who are great at reading the room,” she says. “Isolate the things they do and try to emulate those.”

Control how much you talk ~ You can’t observe if you’re spending most of your time talking. You need to listen, Dillon says. “Be conscious of how much you are saying.” Whether you’re in a room with a large group of people, a small group, or you’re speaking with a colleague one-on-one, she advises taking frequent pauses “to really think about what the other person is saying” and watching out for the nonverbal cues. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk; there is “no shame” in silence. When the conversation is more intimate, Dillon says, you must strive to “make the other person feel heard.”

Be present. Be engaged. Make eye contact. “Position yourself so that you’re not inviting others to butt into your conversation. Help the other people feel confident that you are all in the moment together.” After the other person says something, paraphrase what they said to indicate that you’re paying attention. Similarly, “if the other person doesn’t seem to be hearing what you’re saying, and you start to realize that you’re talking at them, you should ask a question,” she adds. Try open-ended questions such as “What do you think about…?” or, “What are the consequences of…?” or, “Have you experienced this?” The answers to these questions help you uncover what’s really going on.

Interpret your observations ~ Once you’ve “tuned into the emotions and energy in the room,” you can “try to make sense of what you think you know,” McKee says. She recommends “generating multiple hypotheses about what’s going on.” Consider the people in the group more broadly and reflect on the possible reasons for their individual and collective emotional states. “What’s happening in their lives? What’s going on in their jobs? What do you know about these people?”

If you don’t know much, this can be tricky, but you can still come up with hypotheses for what’s motivating people. At the same time, you shouldn’t project your feelings onto the group. “Keep your emotions in check,” McKee says, adding that this is a feat that “takes tremendous skill and self-control.” If, say, the room is reverberating tension, don’t let yourself “be hijacked by negative energy, and don’t give in to your natural inclination to be frightened and angry.” Remember, too, that the emotions you perceive are not personal. “It probably doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

Check your hypotheses ~ When you’ve developed a few explanations for what’s going on in the room, check your understanding. You can do this by continuing to gather further information — though you should continue to be open to what you’re seeing and sensing so that you don’t fall prey to confirmation bias. You can also ask people directly, in private, McKee says. When you’re in one-on-one conversations, you might say something like, “In the meeting I saw you furrow your brow when discussion turned to the xyz project — how do you feel about it?”

Most likely, your colleagues will be pleased you noticed, she says. When you make note of people’s feelings and reactions, they “feel attended to.” Another tactic McKee suggests is talking with a trusted colleague, mentor, or coach. “Talk about what you’ve observed — not in a gossipy way, but as a learning opportunity,” she says. “You want someone else to check ideas with” so that you can say, “What do you think is going on with that colleague? Or that coalition?”

Put your perceptions into practice ~ If in the midst of a meeting or interaction, you notice that things are getting tense or heated, you can “take the opportunity to shift the emotional reality of the room,” McKee says. “Use humor,” she adds. “Or empathize with the group — make them feel okay.” She recommends determining who in the room has “the most social or hierarchical capital” and then focusing on getting that person on your side.

“It could be a person who has the most seniority, or the person who others are sitting closest to. It could be the person who’s telling jokes and has the ability to lighten the mood.” Keep an eye out “for any positive signals” — the executive in the corner who’s smiling, for instance — and concentrate on those. Importantly, continue to pay attention to what’s not being said. “Most people are just waiting to talk,” she says. As a result, “we may catch most of the words, but we miss the music.”

Principles to Remember

Do:

• Consider the people in the room more broadly and reflect on the possible reasons for their individual and collective emotional states.
• Look for microexpressions such as fleeting smiles or raised eyebrows. These offer clues to group dynamics and individual emotions.
• Isolate the behaviors that your socially aware role model exhibits and try to emulate them.

Don’t:

• Be distracted. Maintain eye contact and be present and engaged in conversations with others.
• Make it all about you. Ask open-ended questions to help you uncover what’s really going on.
• Allow yourself to be hijacked by a room’s negative energy. Keep your emotions in check and do what you can to shift the emotional reality of the room.

Case Study #1: Pay attention to people’s body language and facial expressions ~ As the chief human resources officer at Prosek Partners, the global PR company, Karen Niovitch Davis has a good deal of experience reading rooms. “I’ve had a 20+ year career in HR,” she says. “A lot of what I do is about trying to really understand what people are saying when they are not actually saying it.”

Every week, she attends a management meeting at Prosek for senior vice presidents, managing directors, and partners. The company’s CEO leads the meeting, and Karen, because of her role, is often aware of what’s on the agenda.

“Since some of the things that we discuss are sensitive or controversial, I am often prepping for how my colleagues will react,” Karen says.

Recently, for instance, the CEO announced that the company would be expanding and that it had signed a lease for more space in the building. Certain employees and teams would be moving to another floor.

Karen paid close attention to her colleagues’ body language and facial expressions to gauge their reactions. She was prepared for a mixed bag. “I knew everyone in the room was thinking: What does this mean for me? What does this mean for my team? Are we all going to have to move?” she says. “That’s human nature.”

Many of her colleagues seemed “genuinely pleased” by the news, she recalls. “They were excited because the move means we are growing.”

Others, however, gave off a decidedly different vibe. Some people’s faces went blank; others visibly frowned. One — we’ll call her Jane — looked down and scribbled a note to a colleague sitting next to her.

Karen assumed that Jane wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of moving. She thought about what she already knew about Jane. “She does not like to change her routine,” Karen notes.

Shortly after the meeting ended, Karen approached Jane. She told her that it seemed that she was unhappy about the move. “I wanted to make sure she knew I noticed her,” Karen says.

Jane appreciated that Karen noticed. “She said, ‘I don’t want to move because I like where my desk is now,’” Karen says. “She told me that she didn’t want to say anything in the meeting because she didn’t want to come off as not a team player.”

Karen listened attentively to Jane’s reasoning. She empathized with her and asked her open-ended questions about her concerns. She wanted to make sure Jane felt heard. “I told her that the office would be an exact replica of our current space and that the views would be better,” she says.

But Jane was not swayed by the argument. “I told her we would work something out so she would not have to move,” Karen says.

Case Study #2: Don’t assume you know how other people feel — ask them ~ Heather Anderson, an executive mentor at Vistage International, the San Diego–based advisory and executive coaching organization, says that she often speaks to her clients about the importance of social intelligence. “Emotions contain data,” she says. “I tell them that the emotional data they receive in their team meetings, their one-on-ones, and their client calls are just as important to their end game as anything else.”

She speaks from experience. Recently, Heather ran a meeting for one of her peer-to-peer coaching groups at Vistage. One of the agenda items was to provide feedback to one of the newer members — we’ll call her Susan. These meetings happen regularly; their purpose “is to challenge each other to be better leaders.”

“People are candid in these meetings and it can feel harsh if you’re on the receiving end — particularly when it’s your first time,” Heather says. “It’s intimidating.”

Heather first scanned the room to gauge the temperature; it wasn’t particularly tense, but she could tell that Susan was nervous. Next, she listened carefully to what others said. The comments were “frank,” and it wasn’t particularly positive.

She paid close attention to Susan’s body language. “I could see the look of surprise and fear on Susan’s face,” she says. “She shrunk in her chair and her shoulders dropped.”

Heather empathized with Susan’s emotions and reflected on what was happening. “I thought she felt threatened,” Heather says. “I wondered, ‘Should we soften our words?’”

To be sure, she asked Susan how she felt. “I said, ‘How are you feeling? What is it like to get this feedback?’”

Susan surprised her. “She said, ‘Wow. This is intense, but this is exactly what I signed up for.’”

Heather realized that she had projected some of her own feelings onto Susan. “I expected her to feel a certain way,” she says, “but you can’t assume you know.”

Later, Heather asked Susan how she planned to use the feedback she received during the meeting. “Susan was able to recite very specific action items, and she talked enthusiastically about the things she wanted to do and changes she wanted to make,” Heather says.

Heather plans to follow up with Susan in a few weeks.

Copyright © 2018 by Rebecca Knight. Rebecca Knight is a freelance journalist in Boston and a lecturer at Wesleyan University. Her work has been published in The New York Times, USA Today, and The Financial Times.

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Authors & Speakers Network Blog

Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Monday, November 27, 2017

Specificity Builds Your Credibility

Filed under: Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 10:30 am
Tags: , ,

Patricia Fripp, Guest Author

In the speaking industry, I am known for a phrase: “Specificity builds credibility.” I learned it from one of my colleagues in Silicon Valley, David Palmer. Every day I listen to intelligent, experienced engineers, leaders, experts in every field, and they are sloppy speakers.

If you want to build your credibility, listen to what you say. Record casual conversations, your side of the phone call, and the way you lead meetings, and you will find how often intelligent people use the word stuff. Stuff is debris and rubbish. What do you mean?

In everyday conversation, of course, we do not prepare what we’re going to say, and it is more logical to be non-specific. However, the best and most important conversations and presentations are better if you review and build skills into your everyday language.

The question I ask my clients more than any other is, “Specifically, what do you mean by thing?” I recently listened to an expert. I am a big fan of his expertise on marketing, and for the first hour I listened to every comment he made and every time he said thing, which was about 25, I considered two suggestions of what he probably meant.

The next big offender is tons. You do not get tons of ideas; you get three pages of notes or 16 actionable items. After a networking event I hear people say, “Oh, I met tons of interesting people.” No, you didn’t. You met two dozen interesting people with whom you probably had seven meaningful conversations; two you will follow up for business conversations; and two you are looking forward to seeing socially.

Be specific. Specificity builds your credibility, and the more credibility you have in any position you hold, the more you will succeed.

BONUS Articles:Things We Say Wrong ~ Video+
The Importance of the Pause When Speaking

Patricia_Fripp.jpgCopyright 2017 by Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE. For additional help with your presentation delivery read: “Sometimes It’s Better Not to Speak,” “Are You Speaking Too Quickly?,” and “Public Speaking – Delivery Strategy.” These are just a few of the many complimentary resources on Fripp.com

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Authors & Speakers Network Blog

Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Secrets to a Killer Viral Video

Filed under: Self-Promotion,Video — Larry James @ 10:30 am

Guest Author, KeriLynn Engel

Want your video to be seen by the world?

You’re not the only one. “Virality” is the new marketing buzz phrase, and it seems the number one goal of every internet marketer and teen with a webcam.

Professional marketers and amateurs alike know that videos are the perfect medium for viral sharing: Research shows that we remember images and spoken words more than printed text, and visual content gets a lot more shares, clicks, and likes than just text.

If you really want to reach your audience online, video is the best way to do it. Research shows that 85% of Internet users in the United States alone watch video online, and the average visitor to your site will spend 100% more time on a page that has a video. And, after watching a product video, viewers will be 85% more likely to purchase that product.

But getting all those people to watch your video is the tricky part. Every single minute of the day, over 60 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube, and 700 of those YouTube videos are shared on Twitter. Most of those videos just get lost in the crowd.

That’s why it’s so important to prime your video to go viral.

It’s true that there’s an element of luck to virality: there’s no 100% guarantee even the perfectly shareable video will viral.

But as Lucille Ball, star of I Love Lucy (one of the first “viral videos”) said, “I don’t know anything about luck… Luck to me is something else: Hard work—and realizing what is opportunity and what isn’t.”

While luck is certainly a factor in going viral, it’s not everything.

Getting your video to go viral is also about observing and emulating the traits that viral videos share, and recognizing your opportunities to take action. A video won’t go viral if you don’t promote it to your ideal audience, and encourage them to share it.

You can prime your video for Internet fame by following the steps below. From what content to include, to the perfect time to release your video, to exactly where and how to promote it, check out the graphic below for an all-inclusive guide to getting your video to go viral.

Secrets-of-Viral-Videos2.jpg

KeriLynnEngel-150.jpgCopyright © 2017 –  KeriLynn Engel.  KeriLynn is a content marketing specialist and writer at Awesome Motive. Before that, she worked as a freelance writer for various websites. She is an advocate for domestic abuse victims and has way too many hobbies. KeriLynn lives in Connecticut.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com

Monday, August 28, 2017

Send Your Book on An Adventure!

Filed under: Author Tips,Book Promotion,Promotion — Larry James @ 10:30 am

Register books that you want to give away, put downloaded labels inside and leave the giveaways in a coffee shop or other public place.

Whoever takes a book can fill out an online form so that you can track the book’s travels and follow where it goes next.

BookCrossing is the act of releasing your books “into the wild” for a stranger to find, or via “controlled release” to another BookCrossing member, and tracking where they go via journal entries from around the world.

Their community of passionate, generous book-lovers is changing the world and touching lives, one traveling book at a time. Register your book for FREE, and get a unique BookCrossing ID.

This BCID allows you to follow your specific book wherever it goes. Think of it as a passport enabling your book to travel the world without getting lost!

Once you’ve labeled your book, it’s ready to travel the world. There are a few different ways you can share your book:

Give it away. Pass your book on to a friend, a stranger, a strange friend, or a friendly stranger!

Release it into the wild. Referred to as the “wild release” (and loved by so many BookCrossers), this type of sharing is a bit like nudging a baby bird out of the nest or sending your kid off to college. Your book doesn’t want to spend its life on your shelf gathering dust; it wants to get out there and touch lives!

Leave your labeled book on a park bench on a summer day, in a train station, on the table in your favorite coffee shop — anywhere it’s likely to be caught by another delighted reader. Then go back to BookCrossing.com and read about your book’s new adventures! See where in the world your book goes, and who reads it!

At the time of this writing, over 850,000 active BookCrossers have collectively registered almost seven million books which are traveling around 130 countries! Imagine the world of opportunities for your book once you’ve labeled and shared it. Get started today!  Go to: BookCrossing.com.

Copyright 2017 – Larry James.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives for “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE!

Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Monday, July 17, 2017

12 Unusual Productivity Hacks…

Filed under: Author Tips,Blogging,Blogging Tips — Larry James @ 10:30 am

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Copyright © 2017 – Michelle Shaeffer. Michelle Shaeffer is the creator of Lingo Dynamics and the HookLine Dynamic app. She’s passionate about helping mission-driven entrepreneurs build successful businesses that make a positive difference in the world. If you’re ready to step up your game and turn your business dreams into reality, you’ll find the motivation, inspiration, and step by step guidance you’re looking for in the Insider Club. Get access and get your “Next 3 Steps” call with Michelle scheduled today. Click the following link for all the details www.michelleshaeffer.com/insider-club!

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

How to Become a Writer & Advice Every Creative Needs to Hear!

Filed under: Author Tips,Video — Larry James @ 7:30 am

Marie Forleo, Guest Author

It’s not everyday you get to sit down and talk with a legend about her life and craft. What’s more – it’s not everyday that said legend also happens to be an insanely down-to-earth, wise, funny, fierce and endlessly compassionate human being.

Cheryl Strayed is the author of the megabestseller Wild, (yes — the one that was made into a movie starring Reese Witherspoon) as well as Torch, Brave Enough and Tiny Beautiful Things.

If you’ve ever felt insecure about calling yourself an artist, like maybe you don’t ‘do it right’ or worse — that you don’t deserve that title, then this is a must watch, must share episode.

marieCopyright © 2017 – Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo is a marketing and lifestyle expert who inspires countless individuals to live Rich, Happy & Hot™. She reaches over 90,000 readers in 188 countries worldwide with her weekly videos and newsletter, and leads dynamic training programs that teach individuals to succeed in business and life. Visit Marie’s Website!

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com

Monday, September 19, 2016

Lessons Learned from a Best Selling Self-Published Author

Filed under: Author Tips,Self-Publishing,Video — Larry James @ 10:30 am

Pat Flynn, Guest Author

If you feel like you’ve got a book in you — and I believe almost everyone does — this episode is for you. I’ll share all those surprising moments, unexpected challenges, successes, and lessons learned from writing “Will It Fly?.”

Copyright © 2016 – Pat Flynn.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
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Tuesday, April 12, 2016

The Ultimate Writer’s Guide to Success (Infographic)

Filed under: Author Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Copyright: 2016 by On Blast Blog.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Monday, February 22, 2016

How to Connect With a Large Audience

Filed under: Guest Author Articles,Presentations,Speaker Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am

Ty Boyd, Guest Author

The bright lights, the large stage, and hundreds or even thousands of eyes all focused on you to hear what you have to say. On top of that, you have to make sure the people far in the back can hear you so no one loses interest and walks out. All of this is intimidating if you don’t know how to connect with a large audience, whether for a lecture, consultation, or presentation. What is so different between large and small audiences and how do you connect with a large audience?

ConnectLargeAudienceSome of the same techniques work well with both large and small audiences alike. You should still be the one in control, leading the discussion in front of the group. You should still be yourself, because both a large and small audience pick up on you trying to be someone you’re not. However, there are some key things you should be aware of before trying to connect with a large audience.

Scan the whole audience

If there is a large audience, you can’t just pick out one small section and speak to them. Speak to the entire group. Walk around, scan the crowd, and pick out a few sections across the back to gaze on periodically throughout your time on stage. If you focus predominately on one small sect of the group, you will lose the attention of the rest of the audience.

Fake it ‘til you make it

If you are one who struggles with confidence or just with getting in front of a large audience, try to fake confidence by smiling more often and cutting out filler words. Smiling keeps you from looking nervous (even if you’re shaking internally) and the audience responds to that. Cutting out filler words (uh, um, like, etc.) gives the audience more confidence you know what you’re saying and truly believe in the message. If the audience is comfortable with you being up there, you benefit from that and you will naturally “make it” to being the confident one in the lecture hall, presentation room, etc.

Do your research

If you are presenting or lecturing to a group of people with similar interests or work experiences, do your research on that area. Knowing where they are coming from gives you material to use to truly connect with a large audience of people. If you’re talking to a bunch of engineers but don’t know the first thing about physics, there are plenty of resources out there that can help you find some jokes that engineers might find funny. People want to laugh, and if your audience laughs, they will be at ease which will also calm you down.

Don’t rely on subtleties

Subtle messages and gestures are great for small groups but they are lost on large groups. Get rid of that when presenting to a large group and be overly emphatic with your gestures and messages. Larger groups rely on you to pump up the energy in the room, so go big or go home.

Sell with a story

A good way to start is to tell a story the audience can relate to and tie into the message of your presentation or lecture. This is where doing your research, being confident, energetic, and scanning the whole audience comes into play. If you can tie all of the above into a good attention grabber at the start, you are sure to connect with the audience coming out of the gate. Once there, continue to tie in overall concepts, points, or messages back to the story. If done right, all of the points can and will relate to the story so each time one of those points are made the audience as a whole has an “ah-ha!” moment.

Those are just a few of the numerous ways to connect with a large audience. If the above are done right, however, you will have no problem connecting with your audience, keeping them engaged, and getting the message across to everyone in the large lecture hall – all without breaking a sweat yourself!

Copyright 2016 by Ty Boyd, Inc.  –  Ty Boyd, Inc. is an Executive Communications & Coaching business that has helped professionals worldwide reach their career goals for more than thirty years.  Their faculty is comprised of experts in the fields of public speaking, business communications and individual coaching.

They offer a variety of courses suited to meet the needs of all levels of career professionals. Ty Boyd, Inc. also creates custom courses for corporations, designed to align with each company’s business culture and objectives. You can expect immediate returns when you and your company invest in a Ty Boyd, Inc. course or coaching session. Take the lead with Ty Boyd, Inc.

Contact them to learn more about how they can help you, your employees or company. info@tyboyd.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

Saturday, November 14, 2015

The 3 Biggest Mistakes That Prevent People From Finishing Their Book

Filed under: Author Tips — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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Brian Tracy, Guest Author

Are one of these mistakes holding you back from writing your book?

I want you to have all the confidence in the world so that you can write your book and become a bestselling author.

A&S-FinishBook1The truth is that many people want to write a book, but they are held back by self-doubt and the fear that they won’t be successful. Fortunately, there are many steps that you can take to ensure that you are successful. I want to show you a system that can help ensure this success.

Here are just a few things that becoming a published author can do for you:

• Establish you as an expert in your field
• Pave the way for other products and services you could offer to your clients
• Provide you with a lifetime of income
• Give you great conversation material at parties and gatherings
• Give you the confidence to begin new journeys

My good friend Mike Koenigs has helped thousands of people publish books for years. He is a seven-time #1 Bestselling Author, “2009 Marketer of the Year” winner, serial entrepreneur, filmmaker, speaker, and patented inventor. Mike Koenigs is the CEO, and Founder of “You.Everywhere.Now.” and creator of “Publish and Profit.” Mike’s products and services have simplified and automated marketing for over 35,000 small businesses, authors, experts, speakers, coaches, and consultants in more than 60 countries.

When I think of business and sales success I think of Mike. I would recommend him to anyone looking to publish a book in order to elevate themselves and their business.

I’ve invited Mike to post on my blog because he truly believes anyone can publish a book, just as I do. He is giving away copies of his book Publish and Profit for FREE and wants to help you become a bestselling author.

THE 3 BIGGEST MISTAKES THAT PREVENT PEOPLE FROM FINISHING THEIR BOOK- BY MIKE KOENIGS

According to an article published in the New York Times, 81% of the United States population wants to write a book someday, or think they have a book inside them.

Don’t you?

According to a recent article in Forbes magazine, 600,000 to 1,000,000 books are published every year in the United States alone. Most of them sell fewer than 250 copies in total while others go on to sell millions.

Why?

THE 3 FATAL MISTAKES

After working with so many people, we’ve found that most failed authors make three fatal mistakes that prevent them from either starting or finishing their book.

And for the ones that do actually finish, here are the reasons why they aren’t successful at marketing, promotion, sales or getting results.

MISTAKE #1: ERNEST HEMINGWAY EXCUSE

The first mistake is the “Ernest Hemingway Excuse.”1

That’s thinking you have to be a writer in order to be an author. Nothing could be further from the truth.

One of my favorite success stories is 9-year-old Abbey Richter, who wrote four bestselling books in only three months about rescue pets. She was featured in American Girl magazine and has been asked to speak at events and sign autographs.

Another is Andy Falco, a former K9 cop who left service after being injured on the job. He came to us on the verge of bankruptcy and foreclosure. He recently closed a $349,000 deal with the country of Bahrain… all because of a book!

They were not writers, but they both wrote bestselling books…

A&S-FinishBookI “wrote” my first book by talking into my iPhone.

MISTAKE #2: ALBERT EINSTEIN ASSUMPTION

Mistake number two is something we call the “Albert Einstein Assumption.”

That’s thinking you actually have to be an expert or even smart in order to be an author of a book. I barely graduated high school and never went to college.

Many of our clients and customers who are successful, profitable authors didn’t start out feeling confident or prepared either.

But they took a chance… and took action using a proven system…

Now, their books are giving them the influence, income, authority, community, and autonomy they deserve.

Don’t you want the same thing?

MISTAKE #3: WARREN BUFFETT BS

Mistake number three is conveniently named after the third wealthiest person in the world…

It’s called “Warren Buffett BS.”

That’s believing and thinking that you have to be rich or famous in order to be a successful published author.

It’s just not true – none of our published students began with a silver spoon in their mouth. Neither did I.

But they did have a system – a proven, tested, and refined five-step formula that will allow you to write, publish, and profit from your books, even if you’re not a writer. And even though you don’t have to start out being famous, a book is one of the very best ways to become famous… especially on your topic.

If you want to learn more about my Publish and Profit book writing system please click the button below to get a copy of my bestselling book for free. I’ve helped many people become bestselling authors and I’d love to build a relationship with you.

BrianTracyCopyright 2015 by Brian Tracy & Mike Koenigs. Brian Tracy is a self-help author of more than 60 books, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, business coach, and keynote speaker. Brian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations.

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Authors & Speakers Network Blog

Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” His newest book is “Ten Commitments of Networking.” Larry James also offers “Author & Speaker” coaching. Contact: AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. CelebrateLove@cox.net – More than 110 articles especially for Authors & Speakers at: www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

commentNOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationships” BLOG at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking” BLOG at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Weddings” BLOG at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Pinterest page for authors and speakers at: https://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/authors-speakers-blog/

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